Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Perfect Palinisms

I will admit that I love all the Chuck Norrisms floating around out there. With all due respect for Chuck Norris, and I believe the right-leaning actor will agree, it's time for some Sarah Palinisms. After all Sarah Palin's legend has grown faster than Davey Crockett's after the Alamo. So let's look at some of these.

* Before the Boogie-Man goes to bed, he checks under his bed and in his closet for Sarah Palin.

* Sarah Palin is the reason a compass points North.

* Confucius say, "Sarah Palin know true age of Chinese gymnasts."

* The moose population in Alaska is at an all time high because Sarah Palin is out on the campaign trail.

* Sarah Palin is the reason for the Great Northern Lights.

* When Sarah Palin turns off her bedroom light to go to bed at night, all of Russia collectively exhales.

* Sarah Palin gives Warren Buffett investing tips.

* Sarah Palin knows if Elvis is truly dead.

* Sarah Palin could change a diaper with one hand and field-dress Barack Obama with the other.

* Sarah Palin keeps her eyes open when she sneezes.

* Sarah Palin knows which came first the chicken or the egg.

* Sarah Palin can find good in Michael Moore and Nancy Pelosi.

* The North Star is Sarah Palin's night-light.

* If A+B=C then C-B=Palin.

* It takes Sarah Palin 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.

* Sarah Palin can eat just one Lays Potato Chip.

* Sarah Palin doesn't need a foreign policy plan, just access to her rifle and buck-knife when meeting with foreign leaders.

* Sarah Palin can divide by zero.

* As a child Sarah Palin ended the Cold War with Russia simply by staring across the water at them.

* Sarah Palin is more certain than death or taxes.

* Sarah Palin taught Michael Phelps to swim.

* Sarah Palin can win a game of Connect 4 with only 3 moves.

If America knows what is good for us, we will pick Sarah Palin to be our next Vice President. Isn't that obvious?

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